The waiting continues...

I went in for my amnio yesterday. While it wasn't HORRIBLE, it also wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world. At least Ben made it for the big stick! He drove 1 hour and 10 minutes, was with me for a grand total of maybe 15 minutes, and then drove back to work. He also agreed with me that the Dr. that did it was...less than pleasant. She's the Dr. at that office that I really don't care for. I LOVE the other Dr.

I found it interesting that the site where she inserted the needle was sore the rest of the day...how can such a thin needle cause that much discomfort? Ben was also surprised at just how much fluid they take out. We had to explain to him that there is a lot of fluid in there, and that it would replenish itself within 12 hours.

I got the results of the amnio yesterday afternoon (I felt like I was at the Dr.'s long enough they probably could have run the test and given me the results before I left, but no dice). Monkey's lungs came back as "borderline mature," so now my induction has been moved from Jan 28th (aka tomorrow) to Jan 31st (aka this coming Monday). Dang. I had gotten my mind set with tomorrow as the day to start the process...how on earth am I going to fill 3 more days? I'm going to rot with all this waiting.

So little time & motivation!

It's official. We will be inducing Friday as long as the amnio comes back showing that the baby's lungs are mature. As in, 6 days from now. And even though logistically I know we are ready, I can't shake the feeling that we're not ready. I feel like I should be doing more, preparing more, and have everything perfect. But that's not realistic...perfect is not possible. In fact, I don't think it's possible to be 100% ready for something that will change your life so completely. My answer to my dilemma? Sitting on the couch watching HGTV and messing around on the computer.

I know that no matter how hard I try, my idea of clean/tidy will never be Ben's idea of clean/tidy. I know that no matter how many times I rearrange or stare at the nursery, it will never feel complete because the crib and dresser are STILL not here, and without those I can't put things on the walls (I'm a stickler about centering/measuring how high things are based on furniture, so I have to wait). I know that the blanket I'm making won't be ready...and it wouldn't be ready before his birth no matter what, because it's a birth announcement in the middle. Which means I need his date of birth and weight/length before I can finish it.

I know I will never win the battle against dog hair. I have 2 shedding dogs. As in, no matter how many times you sweep/mop/vacuum/dust etc there will ALWAYS be some dog hair around. You pet these two and it looks like a cloud rises from their backs. I love my girls, but seriously? I could really live without the shedding.

So, I'm sitting here. Thinking that (hopefully) by this time next week my son will be here. Well, maybe not HERE (he may have to spend time in the NICU, which will inspire a whole slew of new posts, I'm sure) but at least out of my body and existing as his own person. Not that he isn't already, he has an attitude! And a sense of humor...as was proven by the jostling and pain he caused me at the function we had to be at last night. He was calm all day long, but just when I have to be pleasant, sociable, and pay attention to ceremony at this function I'm in an internal battle of wills with him...him wanting to "play" and me wanting him to stop headbutting whatever it is that he's headbutting that is causing me such sharp pains.

The couch is good for now. Maybe I'll try to do laundry, or vacuum, or ...something. But later. Because there is no such thing as perfect. And there is no such thing as completely ready. And I have to learn how to let go...and deal with the fact that all the planning/preparation in the world will not make me feel any more prepared than I do right now.

Two Weeks Left

Well, the appointment with my NP yesterday went better than I expected. Aside from the waiting. For the most part it was pretty routine...weight, blood pressure, monitoring (AKA Non-Stress Tests), Ultrasound to accompany the NST. I also had blood drawn for a CBC (Complete Blood Count) and RPR (to check for syphilis...yay), as well as an office visit with my NP to go over questions, have my Group B Strep test (not the most pleasant swab in the world), and check my cervix.

Everything up until waiting for the NP was pretty standard wait times. Then we got put in the exam room and waited for an HOUR for her to come in...that's not normal. Usually I'm waiting 20 minutes, tops. Ben and I spent our time determining if we had been forgotten, debating on whether ultrasound gel or hand sanitizing foam would squirt farther from it's bottle, then determining which would cling to the wall longer (AKA which is sticker...ultrasound gel won that debate), how we would escape if we were locked in, and trying to take naps to make the time pass faster, since we all know that the second you fall asleep the person you're waiting on will show up.

She did come in, and told us that because it was me (and my appointments usually don't take very long) she bumped me ahead of another patient who usually takes longer. Good for me. Did all the testing, and then we came to the discussion about Monkey's weight and what that means. After talking to my RE last week, I thought for sure they would want to deliver next week, at 36 weeks. The good news is that they're giving me a whole extra week to grow him myself! The bad news is that I still have to have an amnio. Yep, that's right folks...I avoided doing the amnio in the second trimester because a) I hate needles, and if I can avoid one I will and b) they can cause you to go into labor. At this point, though, the amnio will determine if I can induce or if we need to hold off to give his lungs more time to develop. So, that's scheduled for the 26th, which is 1.5 weeks away, and if all is OK on that, then we're inducing on Jan 28th, 2011, and Monkey will *probably* be born on Jan 29th, 2011, at 37w3d gestation.

Looks like we'll be meeting our little man sooner than February, but still within the accepted time frame that is considered "full term," so he won't technically be considered premature. Plus, we've set it up so that the Dr. I like will be the one delivering the baby, which is AWESOME!!! Now if the baby furniture would just get here so we can get it set up before his arrival, that would be perfect.

Still an example of the perfect human specimen...

That is what  Ben is calling himself these days. Great...now I have that ego to live with. Here is how that lovely quote came to be:

My fertility specialist has been insisting since we found out that I have the MTHFR homozygous mutation that Ben get tested as well. Needless to say, my endlessly procrastinating husband did not manage to get tested before he deployed, and now that he's been home almost 3 months and we just now got him tested (well, 2 weeks ago, but still). Today we got the results, which were: NEGATIVE!!! He does not have any form of the mutation. The last time we got him tested for something (sperm count/motility/etc.) everything came back at perfect or more...or as he likes to call it, "Super Sperm."

That's great, right? Yeah, except now I feel like even more of a fertility screw up. Every problem we have had with getting pregnant and during the pregnancy is because of my body. And now he's going around thinking he's got the perfect human form because he never has anything wrong, and his test results are pretty much always better than perfect. Then my mom brought up a great point: I have an amazing ability to choose right. Think about it. I could have ended up with someone who has just as many or more fertility/genetic issues as I do, but I managed to marry a man who has NO issues, thus making it as easy as possible for us to have a biological family with all of the issues that I do have. YAY!

On top of that, since all of my issues are genetic, I can blame my parents! And we now have sufficient reason for my sister to get tested for the MTHFR when she starts wanting a family, so she's actually ahead of the game...she will get to know of at least one issue before she even starts trying, so she'll be able to treat it (if she has it) from day one and have that much less to worry about. It still means she'll get to deal with blood thinners (if she does test positive) but that's part of the deal. Then she'll get to enjoy the belly pokes and bruises that I am dealing with on a daily basis.

Next appointment is on Friday...and we will probably have a conversation at that appointment about when Monkey will make his appearance, since based on my last growth scan he's still small. That means that he will quite probably make his debut before the end of the month!

I had SO hoped that this would be more pleasant.

Pregnancy, that is. In my mind I wanted to continue working out (as in cardio, not just walking) at least 3 times a week. I wanted good skin, and hopefully the exercise would help me maintain energy levels. I would be able to find adorable, stylish, CHEAP maternity clothes, and would be able to continue eating healthy the entire way through pregnancy without feeling sick if I did so. I would have cravings for fruits and vegetables, and my hair would grow fast and become thick and luxurious. I would gain an optimal amount of weight and feel beautiful the entire time.

HAH! Unfortunately, like countless women before me, I do not particularly enjoy pregnancy. At least not this one. From day one it has been a slew of Dr's appointments and "don't do" lists. Including any form of exercise (oh, except for about a month in the middle there, where I was allowed to do light, slow walking. Yeah, not exactly what I meant by exercise). My skin exploded from the beginning (one of the things that led me to test for pregnancy) and only got worse with the barrage of hormones and medications I had to be put on in order to maintain the pregnancy and optimal blood flow to the baby. While energy has been OK, starting at about 30.5 weeks I'm falling asleep randomly after doing NOTHING all day...yay for pregnancy-induced narcolepsy.

The maternity clothes that I have found are OK, but the majority of them still make me look as wide as a house, so I'm stuffing myself into pre-pregnancy (stretchy) clothes since they STILL look better. Not to mention the cost of maternity clothes. We'll just say that I'm wearing my pre-pregnancy coat that I love (I'm not able to button it) because I refuse to pay almost $100 for a maternity coat that looks like a circus tent. As for food, well...the things that don't make me feel sick to my stomach are all either fried, fatty, salty, or just plain bad for you. I throw fruits and veggies in because I need to, but they almost certainly make me feel like I'm going to throw up.

Cravings are: salt. Fried. Fatty...the things that don't make me feel ill. They also are the things that pack on the pounds like nobody's business. And, while I'm not gaining 80lbs by any means, I still have already gained a bit more than I would like, and the Dr. says not to worry about it because Monkey is in the 5th percentile and needs to gain, so that means I need to gain. Oh boy...all I see there is "more to lose later." Yeah...more to lose when I'm even more exhausted and less inclined to eat healthy because, let's face it, eating healthy takes more time and effort. As for feeling beautiful, that's just a joke at this point. I feel fat, tired, sick, zitty, and all around crappy. Yeah, beautiful isn't happening in our house this Christmas.

And we're into single digits!

That's right...8 weeks and 6 days until Monkey's due! Of course, I may not make it that far, but it's really starting to sink in. That and the fact that we barely have anything for this kiddo. I already told the moms (my mom and  Ben's mom) that after January 1 we will be purchasing things that are left on the registry. That way there is time for shipping delays etc. There was some objection to that, because "people need time to get you gifts." I, for one, think that's great if they want to, but it is our responsibility to provide for this baby, and I can't wait because people might want to buy something for him...especially when it probably won't even be something we really need! That and the fact that a LOT of times people say they want to do something, but never do. No...better safe than sorry for us. We will be doing some major purchasing after the new year.

As for Monkey, he's still looking good. Moving great. As of yesterday, he's still in the 5th percentile for growth (3lbs 1oz at 31 weeks) but since it's a steady weight gain and he's not slowing down, everyone is confident that he'll probably just be a small baby and that there is, in all likelihood, nothing wrong. Of course there are no guarantees, but it's nice to know that there are no other indicators of an actual problem. I did have about 3 contractions during monitoring yesterday, but my nurse practitioner said that with my uterus and where I am in the pregnancy, that's to be expected. I actually didn't even feel the contractions enough to label them as such...it really just felt like Monkey was pushing against my stomach...but they were Braxton Hicks contractions. Nice to know.

I talked to the nurse about my fainting (ish) episodes as well, since I had another one on my way to the Dr's yesterday. I was sent for blood tests to check iron, blood volume, and a couple of other things that I didn't recognize on the lab sheet. Then I was sent home with instructions to take it easy and drink even MORE fluids. Hopefully I will have the results of those tests tomorrow. In the meantime,  Ben and I have decided that I should not drive further than our town (very small town) for safety reasons. If I have to go anywhere further, he will take me since he starts holiday leave tomorrow.

Joy. No exercise, protein shakes, no driving. I really do feel like I'm becoming an invalid.

Sock Monkey Hat and Other Randomness!

Well, after finishing my initial sock monkey hat (as seen modeled by my puggle, Cloe) I was almost immediately asked to make another. I've got to watch it, though, because I have a quilt that is VERY time-consuming to finish before this baby gets here, and I'm procrastinating on it. I really think it's just the sheer magnitude of it that makes me so unwilling to work on it, but once I get started it will go right along!

We managed to get our Christmas Tree this weekend...and, despite a rather unnerving episode (see below) I was able to get all the decorations out, set up, and working. Now I begin the countdown until I can take it all down. It's weird...I love having them out, I love seeing seasons change through the house decor (part of why I love fall and winter), but I also love it when I "get my house back" and no longer have all the decorations taking up space on my surfaces. I also love not having Christmas Tree needles all over the ground.  Ben insisted that I wrap empty boxes so that it at least looks like we have presents under the tree. He's already got his gift (Ipad) and we're getting mine in the next week or so (blue tooth installed in my car...the stereo has the button but it's "not equipped").

I also got our Christmas Card picture taken. No, I'm not in it. I'm really not feeling up to tackling that monster...between  Ben, 2 dogs, and myself, it would be virtually impossible to get a shot where everyone looks good and is doing what they are supposed to. Especially when you throw in the fact that the dogs have "uniforms" that they HATE. Can't you see how happy they look? This took about an hour, a half a bag of dog treats, and a ton of "wardrobe adjustments" to get. If I had to add  Ben in, with his tendency to look like he's in pain when he smiles for pictures, plus myself (and my apparent inability to take pictures without a double chin and look halfway decent other than in my belly pictures) it just would not have worked. Can you say disaster?

OK, on to my "episode." I went to the pharmacy on Sunday to pick up a prescription refill. No biggie, right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. As I'm pulling into the parking lot, I start feeling...off. Then too hot, and then the distinctive feeling that I'm going to throw up. Wait, wait, no, that's not all. Then tunnel vision. Mind you I'm still driving. Then I realize that I KNOW this feeling. I'm about to pass out. All I could think was "Park the car, park the car, PARK THE G-D*&N CAR NOW!!!". I did manage to park the car. So far it's all happened in about 20 seconds. In the next 10 seconds my hearing gets VERY muffled, then the tunnel vision is compounded by my vision appearing pixelated and orange. Suddenly, I just KNOW that I'm going to throw up. I throw open the car door (car is in park, e-brake on, and key off) and proceed to dry heave. I sat in the car for probably 5 minutes before I could think of anything other than how awful I feel. And then I realize that I do not have my cell phone on me...I have to get home. Here's the weird thing. At that point Monkey started moving, and as soon as he did ALL of my symptoms went away. I felt fine. Oh...my prescription wasn't in yet. Oh joy.

I managed to get home...yay me. I called the nurse on Monday and she said it sounds like Vena Cava syndrome, where Monkey was resting on the main blood vessel that carries blood back to the heart...either that or he was on the vegus nerve. And if it happens again, it's off to a workup complete with EKG for me. Wonderful.

Up next week: another growth scan to see if Monkey is growing better, plus a standard office visit and 20 more minutes hooked up to a fetal monitor (I do this once a week, but after next week it will be twice weekly). Stay tuned.

On to every 2 weeks

Well, it's happened. I've reached the point in my pregnancy where I have to be at the Dr's every two weeks. It's not really that big of a deal, except for the fact that my next appointment is the week of Thanksgiving...when all of our family will be in town. That's a little inconvenient. "Hi family, great to see you, we have to leave for a few hours so...entertain yourselves." The really hard thing? It's landing on my MIL's birthday. Because the nature of this next appointment is a bit, well, personal, I don't want anyone but B with me. It just isn't appropriate. So, either he will go with me or I will go by myself.

Other than that, Monkey is doing great, and next time we will get a growth estimate--length, weight, etc. I also find out exactly when I have to start going in twice weekly for monitoring, so they can see if/how often I'm contracting. I haven't felt any thus far, and here's hoping that it continues that way.  Ben was super surprised last appointment to see Monkey's foot up by his face...he didn't know babies were that flexible!

Amy Butler Modern Diaper Bag!!! (And a couple of other things!)

Well, I did it! It's finished! I'm so proud of myself...it took me 4 days, a few machine needles, and more than a few choice words, but it's done! I completed the modern diaper bag, the changing pad that goes with it, and a diaper "clutch" for those times when I don't need the whole big bag with me. I will say that had I kept the dimensions as listed in "Little Stitches for Little Ones" it would have been WAY too big for me. Also, the changing pad does call for 2 layers of batting, but if you buy the thick batting you only need one. I used 2 layers of 3/4" batting and it's too bulky...I had to lengthen the strap on the changing pad to make it work (but that could also be because I don't like just rolling it into a tube, I tri-fold one way and then another). I used the instructions from The Ogden's Modern Diaper Bag Post to cut down the size of the bag to about 75%, which works perfectly for me.

I had some difficulty turning the bag from inside-out to right side-out, until I realized that I had attached the straps wrong (way to go pregnancy brain and exhaustion) but once I fixed that there wasn't really a problem at all. I also intended the clutch to be smaller, but I was guessing at dimensions and it turned out too big. That's OK, now I just have a small diaper bag (aka clutch) to take with me when the full sized bag would be too much. Is anyone else surprised/impressed that  Ben helped pick out the fabric? He says that it was so that he could get out of the fabric store faster, but I'm still happy. It would have taken me FOREVER to choose if he hadn't stepped up!

He also got to feel Monkey really MOVE the other day. He had his hand resting on my belly, and baby full on KICKED his hand...so hard that  Ben jumped away because it surprised him so much!

OMG Where did my belly button go!?!

Well, it's officially happened. My belly button has disappeared. I had to break down and take out my naval ring last night...the piercing was too red and angry to leave it in. Once the ring was out, I realized that my belly button is almost completely flat. No wonder it didn't like being pulled for that extra bit of metal. I also looked back at the "before and after" shots of my belly...from about 4 weeks to 24 weeks (OK, technically 24 weeks is tomorrow, but there's no guarantee I'll want to do my hair and makeup when I don't have to). Here's the comparison:

 Wow...even though I don't see the difference day to day, it's definitely there!!! I also had an ultrasound today. I was just supposed to have my cervix checked (long and closed, nothing but good news there!) but I had an awesome technician who not only took regular 2D pictures of our little man, but a couple of 3D images as well! Of course, he didn't want to cooperate, so the pictures aren't great, but we have them!

So there you go! I'm sad that  Ben couldn't make it to the appointment with me (stupid "appointment line" never returns calls...what's the point of even having it?) but I have another appointment in 2 weeks that he will be able to come to and my nurse said that if they're not super busy she'll pop us over to the ultrasound to "play" for a little bit. I really want him to get to see his son moving on an ultrasound, it's so different from just looking at the pictures!

It's been a couple of weeks...

Ben is home (YAY!) so no more worrying on that end. He's been home a few days now, so I haven't been online much at all since we have been running all over kingdom come getting errands done and generally enjoying the great weather!

Of course, this means that I'm back to hearing the sound of video games all the time, which is not my favorite. I also don't LOVE that he sits so close to the TV, it's bad for the eyes, but I can't seem to get that through to him (or he just doesn't care).  Oh well...if I really want less of that, I can always retreat to the bedroom.

In other news...

YAY! That's really what we wanted. OF COURSE we would have been ecstatic with a girl, no question about it, but both of us just really wanted a boy first. And yes, that is my stomach...I've had people ask if I just stole the pic with graphics off the internet somewhere. Nope...all me. We have bought the bedding for him:

We bought it mainly because it was the first bedding set appropriate for a boy that we LOVED and because of the price on Overstock.com, and, as we all know, once something leaves that site it doesn't come back. We were afraid that if we didn't buy it right away, we wouldn't be able to find it again, especially at the awesome price we got!  Ben also fulfilled his promise to take me to the fabric store and push the cart for me, so I got everything (minus purse feet) that I need for the diaper bag plus about 75% of what I need to start in on Monkey's quilt. Of course, I'll need to buy the batting and flannel, but I'm waiting for a coupon to become valid before I go back, because I really would like to save 50% on both of those things LOL! So, all in all it's been a great weekend/week!

Halfway Done!!!

Woo hoo! I made it to the 20 week mark! So excited...that means it's all "downhill" from here! And can I just say that while I may not be the biggest fan of my Dr (no, I can't change and no I didn't pick her) I LOVE my Nurse Practitioner. She is, in a word, awesome! When I asked my Dr. about weight gain, she responded with "my patients only gain 20lbs on average." Ok, according to the National Institute of Medicine, women who are overweight should gain 15-25lbs, and obese should gain 11-20lbs. I am neither overweight or obese. In fact, pre-pregnancy, I was at the low end of the "normal" BMI weight range. So, according to the NIM, I should gain between 25-35lbs. My Dr. didn't even take into consideration my case...and the number she gave me is not applicable to my height/weight/BMI. So, when I asked my NP about this (did I mention I love her) she said that based on my height/weight pre-pregnancy, I should gain around 30lbs. And I'm right on track for that. Good.

At my last ultrasound they also saw a soft marker for Down's. This raised the risk from 1/2400 to 1/1200. At that point my Dr. immediately started trying to discuss amnios with me.  Ben and I already agreed that we will not do an amnio. When I talked to my NP, she said not to worry about it...that 1/1200 is less than a 1/10 of a percent chance, so essentially nothing to worry about. She also said that since they started looking for the soft marker they saw on my ultrasound, 75% of the patients she sees have it. And their babies are fine. Great.

Finally, in a little less than 2 months I get to go in twice a week for monitoring. Basically I go in, sit in a recliner with monitors strapped to my belly checking for contractions. Good thing I've got a Kindle...at least I won't be bored!

And now for will power to kick in.

So, had my anatomy scan today. Everything looks great...and our little guy or gal gave us the thumbs up!

 

Now here's the hard part: waiting for  Ben to get home so that we can find out the sex! The tech did put those pictures into a sealed envelope for me, so I have it sitting in my house taunting me, daring me to open it early and then attempt to re-close so no one would know. Right...I'd like to think I'm that smooth. I know that if I tried it would all go horribly wrong...paper would rip, and with my luck somehow the pictures would get damaged to the point where there is no hiding the fact that I opened the envelope. I'd better play it safe and not open it, but that doesn't mean it will be easy!

 

On another note...the Dr. thinks I may have a kidney stone, thus explaining the pain I've been in. If that is the case...I'm kind of SOL. I just have to wait it out and deal with it. OK, fine...but the thing there is that even if I did get better pain killers, the way this pain has been going by the time they kicked in the pain would be gone. I can't even try to preempt the pain, because I never know when it's coming on!

Cervix and Heartbeats and Gas, Oh My!!!

I had my second perinatologist appointment today. It's a busy office, so I consider myself lucky that that I was only there for 2 hours. I had my cervical evaluation first. This was what was going to determine if I am allowed to exercise again or not. The verdict: All's good, go for a walk! YAY! I've been really feeling this whole no exercise thing, so starting tomorrow I'm back on the bandwagon (well, walking at least LOL). I also discovered that based on the last ultrasound I had they moved my due date from Feb 20, 2011 to Feb16, 2011. That means I'm a full 4 days farther along than I thought, so today I'm 16 weeks instead of 15 weeks 3 days! Almost done with month 4!

We also looked at Monkey and the heartbeat (although it's not like I haven't been listening to it every day with my own doppler anyway!). Official heart rate: 154bpm...all's good. Of course Monkey was standing on it's head...the first view we got was of the back of a skull and the spine! We eventually got some pictures, but none of them are super clear. In the picture you can clearly see the spine and back/side of Monkey's head.

Of course, they gave me pictures, but they're all pretty bad quality. Because this is mostly back view, you can only see a little section of one arm. The legs are all bunched up in front of Monkey, so this picture looks like it has no legs, but I assure you, they are there!

Then on to blood work. You would think that once I answer all the standard questions once, I wouldn't have to answer them again. After all, if they would just look it's all in my chart. But no...we went through it all again. To the point where she verified that I was Caucasian. She's new. My blood pressure was at 120/70...good. Weight...well, I'm at 10lbs, but now that I can exercise hopefully I'll slow the train down a little. If not, maybe I can at least stay somewhat toned!

I wasn't super impressed with the Dr. I saw today. She seemed rushed and not very invested. She did answer my questions, but as I asked she kept edging toward the door...I mean, I get that there are a lot of patients to see, but really? She didn't even let me get through all the questions! No biggie...my next appointment is in 3 weeks, and when I see my Nurse Practitioner (who is awesome) I'll ask her.

Now, apparently one thing my body has decided to hate is dairy. Grrr. I love ice cream and cheese, and cook with cheese a lot (I know, not the best thing, but it's so yummy!). I had ice cream last night...10 minutes after I finished I had gas pains that almost had me in tears. Tonight...chicken chili with cheese. Same deal. I think tomorrow I'm going to drink a glass of milk (ick, but I have to test the theory) and see what happens.

Next appointment I *could* know what Monkey is, but I'm having the results put in a sealed envelope so that B and I can open them together when he gets home. It's going to be a long stretch between now and then...willpower needs to be there, or else I'll fail!

WooHoo!

OK, so I know I'm supposed to be OK getting bigger. I get it. Stop telling me that. It doesn't make it any easier to see the scale numbers going up again, especially when I worked so hard to get down to my ideal weight RIGHT BEFORE I got pregnant. Now understand why I was excited: I did not want to have to buy maternity clothes until at least 20 weeks...preferably later. So imagine my disappointment when on Saturday, at 14w6d, I could no longer button my pants. NOOOOO!!! I have a Bella band which I can use for a while, but this was the beginning of the end. I want this baby more than anything, but I'm just not quite ready to make the leap into maternity. Today I found at least one pair of pants that I can still button YAY!

I was so excited! I don't have to go to fat lady clothes yet! Of course, none of this helps my rapidly growing boobs. Seriously, were they not big enough before? I can't wear at least half of my shirts and dresses, not because of my stomach, which is SUPPOSED to be growing but isn't really (at least not that anyone else can notice) but because my boobs have now reached epic proportions, and will only continue that trend. Great.

On another note, I have a new fridge. It's more basic than the last one: let's hear it for renting and having a cheap homeowner. OK, I get it, you don't want to spend a ton on a fridge for a rental property. Fine. But (and here's what upset me) for the same price as the fridge she bought (I know, because I looked it up) she could have gotten an upright side-by-side with water and ice in the door from the lady who came to figure out what was wrong with the old fridge. Not only that, but I would have had it a week ago. Instead (because the homeowner chose to disregard that awesome offer) I had to wait an extra week for a fridge that opens with the door going into my kitchen and doesn't have an ice maker. Even my old crappy fridge had an ice maker. I don't understand why she didn't want to get the best one possible, especially when it was the same amount of money and would have been here a week earlier, saving me a week of grief!

Then my car battery dies. Again. OK, OK, I know that it's kind of my fault: when I went to Europe in May and was gone for a month, I left an interior light on and COMPLETELY killed the battery. I jumped it, drove it, and it's fine. Then I didn't drive it for a week...lo and behold, it wouldn't start. So (since I'm still under warranty) I called my local Dodge dealer and they said "bring it in, we'll check it." OK, great. I do that, and they tell me that there's nothing wrong with the battery. Hmmm, funny, THEN WHY DOES IT KEEP DYING? I have a copy of that paperwork coming to me, so that the next time it happens I can say "hey, you said there was nothing wrong, but it happened again. Now I'm not under warranty, but you guys still need to fix this at no charge because you told me that there was nothing wrong but I'm still having the same problem." Ugh.

At least I can button my pants.

Time to Relax

Well, after all the ups and downs so far, I'm finally able to relax. I had my first visit with the Perinatologist office yesterday. I was expecting a consult with height/weight/blood pressure, family history, questions, and bloodwork. I came out with these:

Needless to say...YAY! So now that I'm over 11 weeks (Monkey measured 12 weeks 2 days) I am feeling much more confident and relaxed...I'm past where I lost the last pregnancy, and it just feels real now that it looks like a baby and not like a jumping bean! Of course, Monkey wouldn't cooperate...moving when we needed him/her to be still and going completely still when we needed him/her to move! Oh well...at least all is well and progressing like it should!

It's my scary time!

Today I am 11w pregnant. Last time I was pregnant, 11w (to the day) is when we found out that the pregnancy was not viable. I'm still confused as to the classification of my M/C. The Dr. said it was a missed M/C, and that the baby had stopped growing at 7-8w. HOWEVER...when she showed  Ben the ultrasound (they wouldn't let me see it) she showed him an empty gestational sac--no baby. Which, from what I understand, means that it was actually a blighted ovum and not a true missed M/C...can it be both?

Now, because I'm at my "scary time" I'm even more nervous about my appointment with the perinatologist on Wednesday. Hopefully they will at least try a doppler scan to hear the heartbeat. My mother is all over me to let her tell people about the pregnancy, but I really don't want her to let the news out until 12-13w. I guess that, if they do a doppler scan on Wednesday and we hear a heartbeat I'll be able to decide if I want her to wait any longer or if she can go ahead and tell the world. I know she really wants to, but I'm still so nervous!

Ok, Ow, This Kind of Hurts!!!

So, I thought I had felt gas pain. I thought I knew what to expect. I was so, so wrong. Apparently I ate too fast tonight, and that combined with the Perrier I'm drinking did its worst. And I'm talking, its WORST. Like, the worst cramp you've ever felt that travels from one side of your stomach to the other, ending in what can only be described as a flutter of bubbles. Those bubbles then sit "down low" until they decide to come out at their convenience...which is of absolutely NO convenience to anyone else in the general vicinity.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't feel faultless in this process at all. I chose to eat what I ate. I know that by eating far to fast and drinking a lot of a carbonated beverage at the same time I was inviting general chaos to my digestive system. I just didn't expect that level of pain. It hadn't happened before. All I can say is, well, I felt like it.

I also understand that this entire cycle will not be appreciated by my loving and adoring husband when he gets home. I have already told him that, for the sake of his nose (and yes, sometimes ears, unfortunately) there will probably be some nights when it will be in his best interests to sleep in the guest room. Because, after all, y'all know I'm not leaving my big comfy bed!

Now that my whining for the day is done, I have to tell everyone (well, anyone who happens to read it) that I have had a fantastic idea. Since I am home alone pretty much ALL day, EVERY day, there are a lot of random thoughts that come through my head. There is not always a cohesive thread binding the thoughts together, they just pop up. Sometimes nice, sometimes mean, sometimes totally pointless. For example: today, I walked outside to get the mail (once the temperatures had lowered to the point where I didn't feel like I was melting the second I stepped outside). The first thing that popped into my head was "it smells like maple syrup out here." And then I went on my way.

So, my brilliant idea is a thought journal. I may not use it every day, but it's always by my bed or my chair, so that when those random thoughts come up I don't feel the immediate urge to call someone and bother them with it...if I write it in my journal, I have gotten it out enough to not need to call anyone. And the other good thing is I can even say (write) the mean nasty thoughts that I don't want people to know that I think, but that I feel the need to "get out" in some way. Good idea, right? Now I just have to hope no one sees it unless I want them to. Hmmm...

Well, now to top it all off...

Got a call from my RE on Friday. Apparently my Lipoprotein A is elevated. Like, it's supposed to be at 75 or under, I'm at 129...pushing double what it should be. In case you are confused, here is a link to explain Lipoprotien A:


http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007262.htm


Basically it's kind of like cholesterol, but stickier. And it attracts more of itself once it's attached somewhere. So, along with all of my pregnancy/fertility issues that we have to watch, now I'm at elevated risk for multiple types of heart disease. Oh, and it may be linked with pregnancy loss, but that's not completely confirmed. Oh joy.


When I told my mom (who has a knack of saying the thing you're thinking and making you laugh about it, even if it's scary) she says "well, you didn't have enough going on, now did you?" I told her that the laundry list of things for me to be worried about felt unbalanced, and I needed to top it off and even it out.

I guess I shouldn't be completely surprised. After all, my grandfather passed away during his second heart attack at age 54, my grandmother has had 2 open heart surgeries and still had congestive heart failure twice last year, my father has a chronic battle with high blood pressure, and my little sister was diagnosed with high cholesterol at age 14. Really, I should have been prepared. Bad Stephanie.

On the good side (or rather, positive side) of things, my RE obviously isn't super concerned. He's really proactive, and if he's worried about something when he gets results he a) calls me the day after I get the bloodwork done and b) has me in the office that day to run tests and/or talk about options. With this discovery, my blood was drawn on Tuesday and his office called Friday morning. Obviously not urgent news. And, while he does want to see me to discuss what this means, I won't go in until the first week of August, a week and a half after getting the phone call. So, I guess it's just one more thing, and I need to watch my cholesterol intake and take it easy so I don't stress my heart out more than necessary. Lovely...one more excuse to sit on my butt and do nothing. Which I already do because I'm not allowed to exercise. Needless to say...I'm bored.

Woo Hoo!!! I Graduated!

From my RE that is! Today was bittersweet. My last official prenatal appointment with my RE before I go to the perinatologist on Aug. 4th. Speaking of that...getting that darned referral to go through was a pain in the butt!!! Talk about red tape! (OK, so I'm probably exaggerating, but these pregnancy hormones do not help my reactions to and perceptions of things LOL)

I don't have a primary care Dr. right now, (she moved and I haven't been assigned a new one, just learned that I have to find my own, which is a new thing for me...apparently here the military insurance works differently than every other duty station we've been at) so my RE was making the referral to the perinatologist for me. I even called my insurance company to make sure that it would work out and be approved and was told "yes, your specialist is approved to diagnose and treat you, so they can do the referral." Great! Two days later, my RE gets a fax saying that my primary care has to do the referral. Ummm...I DON'T HAVE ONE AND YOU KNOW THAT!!!! So, I call again and they say "who told you that your specialist could do the referral?" "You guys did" "No we didn't". Really? REALLY? So I'm the idiot client who imagined the entire phone call THAT YOU DOCUMENTED IN MY FILE? AAAARGH!!! In the end it all got worked out (after getting a little mad at them and being on hold for 10-15 minutes while the incompetent fool checked with his supervisor about everything).

OK, so that stress is gone, referral is approved, and today I got to see Monkey moving around like crazy!!! It took my RE 3 tries to get a heart rate because (s)he wouldn't stop wiggling around! I think this is the most excited I've been, it was so thrilling to see all that movement. Now I just can't wait for  Ben to be here so that he can see it too...and by the time he gets home it will really look like a baby!!!