Thursday, September 29, 2011

Trials of a Mobile Baby

Monkey has been mobile for about a month and a half now, which is a lot of fun, but a lot of work as well. I am not a parent who believes in baby-proofing everything...rather, we believe in baby-proofing the most dangerous things like chemicals, electrical outlets and cords, and blind strings. Other than that he needs to learn "no" and what he can and cannot touch.
We have known for a while that the baby does not need to be playing with the fireplace poker. That's not the issue. The issue is getting him to learn "no" and to respond accordingly. Ben just doesn't have the constitution to keep at it...or the patience. I'll hear "NO!" for about 5 minutes while he has Monkey, and then it will be "Babe, can you take him for a while? I can't keep him from (insert thing that we don't want him touching here)." Really? REALLY? 

What does this man think I do all day? Does he think that when he's with me Monkey magically knows what he can't play with and stays away from it? OF COURSE NOT! As much as I wish that I were that magical of a parent, and that after I said no the first time Monkey stopped trying to touch the "bad thing," that's not how it works. You have to repeatedly say it, and take the baby away from whatever "bad thing" he's playing with. 

Then you get to where I am now with Monkey. He's limit-testing. I've seen this phase before in the numerous types of child-care I've worked in. This is where subject A (AKA the child) starts going for something they shouldn't have. You then tell the child "Subject A, no." Subject A then looks at you, contemplates his next move for a while, and goes for the object/area anyway. You then get up, remove Subject A from the forbidden fruit, and go back to what you were doing. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

And being mobile (and getting faster by the day) you can't take your eyes off of him. Something that Ben had better learn pretty quickly!

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My Baby: Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde

Monkey has begun waking up screaming. We're talking the baby Jack Jack from The Incredibles when he finally displays his superpowers. He used to wake up so nicely, smiling and happy and ready for the day. Now...the banshee has returned. Until you feed him, that is. Now, I understand that he's slept for 12 hours and is hungry, and I won't ignore him. I will always feed him when he's hungry, but does the announcement need to be quite so pronounced? The sad thing is that I know where he gets it from: me. My parents have informed me that when I was a baby, I liked food so much that I would scream in between bites if they didn't shovel it in fast enough. Monkey is starting that tendency too. 

The good news  is that after he's been fed, he turns into Jack Jack when he's happy. You know: he's smiling, playing with his toys. Playing with the dogs' toys and dad's shoes. And he's generally getting into all sorts of mischief with a smile on his face. Well, until you tell him no. Then he turns into the other Jack Jack again (his own personal Mr. Hyde).                                                                                                That's OK though. I love him no matter what, but is it so much to ask that he doesn't split my ear drums when he's hungry? LOL.
In other news: I only have to lose 7 more lbs. I have NOT been trying. Which sucks, because had I been trying I would already be down to my goal weight and Ben would have forked over my incentive: Money for clothes. Here's the catch: that money has to cover alterations. And since none of us really have that model body that fits perfectly into clothes as we buy them, I'm going to have to alter a lot. Luckily, I can usually get by until I have the money/time to get the alterations done. And I don't have to leave the comfort of my home to find cute clothes (since I always get frustrated shopping). I have found a site that I absolutely adore. It's called ModCloth and it specializes (for the most part) in vintage and vintage-inspired clothing. You should check it out. 

Any suggestions on workout routines that A) I can do at home with Monkey here and B) won't absolutely kill me? I'm planning on starting to jog with him, but I need something more, something a little more fun (something to get my abs back!).

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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My son, the *ahem* genius

So, like all parents, I'm incredibly proud of Monkey. At 7.5 months old, he has already been mobile for a month, pulls up on everything (including our sliding glass door), is starting to understand the word "no," and is, in general, a wonderful child. We love him.

I would even take him holding it like this!
So, why oh why can't he figure out that you have to tilt the bottle UP to get the milk/juice/water out? He knows what a bottle is (obviously, he's gone from looking like a spider monkey to having his very own buddah belly), he knows that the fluid comes out through the nipple, and he knows that he wants whatever is inside of it. I tell you what, that's major improvement from the kid who tried to suck milk out through the side of the bottle.

But the whole "tilt up for food" thing just hasn't hit. I know that I held the bottle for him too long, he wants me to hold it for him (OK, that's understandable, it's easier for him to have me do it). But seriously, I'm trying to make this convenient for him. I bought a sippy cup that has a bottle nipple on it, as well as having handles. I leave said sippy cup with him at all times...filled with water, because I don't need every fabric surface in the house smelling like old rotten formula. So please, monkey, tilt the d@mn furcking sweet cup mommy got you up!

Anyone have suggestions on how to help him learn this particular life skill?
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Monday, September 12, 2011

The Coffee Fueled Take on "Child-Star" Reality Shows

I'll admit it. I'm addicted to SOME reality TV. I'm not immune to watching almost any reality show on Bravo or Lifetime. The two that seem to be the biggest train wrecks are shows like Dance Moms and Toddlers & Tiaras. It seems inevitable that on one (or both) of these shows any given week you will see a small child dressed like a two cent hooker lady of the night.                                                      Like last week,when a mom on T & T thought it would be a good idea to dress her 3 year old as Julia Roberts in her role as "Pretty Woman." While I love the movie, and LOVE Julia Roberts, I'm not so sure that dressing my toddler as a prostitute would make my list of "funny things to do to my child."
Somehow, somewhere, I can't help feel as though some appropriateness alarm is going off whenever a parent does this. There is some cosmic file for each and every parent where all of these inappropriate decisions regarding a child are logged, and (like Jeff Lewis does on Flipping Out with his employees) when the page is full, you're fired!                                  Dance Moms is another can of worms. I get it, dance costumes are tight, and that's fine.  But in this case, it's the instructor, not the moms, who can't seem to grasp that these are little kids and there is still such a thing as TOO LITTLE FABRIC. I swear, I don't even want to think about how many pedophiles sit in the audience at these kinds of dance recitals, with the acrobatic tricks and suggestive dances, and then the skimpy costumes as the icing on the cake. EEEEEEWWW.
At the end of the day, though I'll still watch. I can't help it. It's like a train wreck (and not the RHONJ type...those are adults, that makes it better....wait, what?)
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Saturday, September 3, 2011

I'm a guest blogger!

A friend of mine (the same friend who gave me the idea of starting a blog dedicated to my crafting, which you can find at Crafty Capable) asked me to write a guest post on her blog. It's a tutorial about personalizing your own wine glasses. Please check it out...You can find it at Colorado Mama Chic. Thanks!

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