That's all he's got?

I know I'm totally jinxing myself here...but really, I'm surprised. Monkey woke up at midnight for a feeding. Fine, I'd already slept 2 hours, so at least I feel like I've gotten some shut eye already. After only eating 2oz (damn child eats 4oz at every feeding and goes 3-4 hours between feedings, but with only 2oz in him I seriously think we're going to have sleep issues tonight) he fell back asleep.

So, I read a little more of Rants from Mommyland (my current favorite blog) and put him down in his crib. Of course, the second he touches the mattress, his eyes open. I, thinking that the Dr. JUST told me (as in today) to put him to bed drowsy but not asleep, leave him there and walk out of the room. Commence fussing. He cried for 5 minutes...and now silence.

I can't help but think that was too easy. Perhaps he's in there plotting my demise, and I will see what that plan consists of all too soon. Or it really was that easy...in which case I should count my blessings, not question it, and go back to bed.

Hah...like my crazy brain will allow that to happen!

(edit: I knew I spoke too soon...he woke up 30 minutes later and now we're both awake on the couch. Who knows how this will end!)

7 weeks in and I'm finally tired

Of the screaming. OK, so it's not all the time. Well, in my head it's all the time, but I'm pretty sure that's just me. Maybe...or there's a very maladjusted little person in my brain running around screaming and randomly beating his/her head against my skull. It's a toss up.

Monkey has gotten to the point where sleep is apparently his enemy. Today went something like this: 5:10am...awake. For the 4th time
that night. And this time he's not going back down.

6:00am. We're both asleep on the couch. The clincher? He only stays that way for about an hour. Mommy couldn't be happier. Really. 10:30am...nap time. YAY! He usually stays asleep for at least 3 hours for this nap...plenty of time for me to get household work done and still get a nap in.

WRONG! 12:30pm and he's awake. The next time he goes down is at 2:30...for all of 20 minutes. After that he's awake (OK, he takes 10 minute naps twice, but those don't count) until 8:00pm, when he starts to crash. It takes me one hour and one cold dinner before he's in his crib without waking up 5 minutes after I placed him there.

I can only hope that he does better tonight...prior to the past couple of nights he would wake up twice in the night and be up for the day at 6:00am. Last night he was up 4 times BEFORE he woke up at 5...not a happy mommy.

The worst part? When he goes on these crying jags he REALLY doesn't want Ben to hold him. He wants me, and even then he won't settle. Tonight even swaddling didn't help right away like it usually does. Poor little guy.

Back to real life

The family has gone. It was a wonderful two weeks, but I'm glad to get back to just our little family and our routine. It's like my mother says "I love to see family when they visit, and I love to see them go home again!" I think this is mostly because even though they are family, I still feel the need to entertain when they are here, and two weeks of constantly being "on" is exhausting!

Monkey is doing great, outgrowing clothes almost daily. We have moved him to sleeping in his own room. Granted, he's still sleeping in his car seat (we put it in the crib) but at least he's out of our room. He's now taken to only taking 20 minute cat naps during the day, and has a fairly regular "fussy time" at night, usually sometime between 5pm and 8pm. Luckily he sleeps like a champ at night from about 8 or 8:30pm to between 5am and 6am. And only wakes up twice or so. YAY! That means that I get anywhere from 5-7 hours of sleep a night, even if it is broken up by feedings. So, all is well, everyone is adjusting, and we're all happy!

The Family is Coming! The Family is Coming!

And, of course, the day before they arrive, Monkey decides to stretch his lungs and grow an attitude. Seriously, in 2 hours he drank almost 5oz...compared to the normal 2-3 every 2-3 hours. Great. If he's not eating, he's screaming. The only other thing that calms him is to be held. Which is fine...most of the time. I can't hold him all the time, it's just not possible. But if I put him down he stays calm for maybe 30 minutes, and then the cycle resumes. He was great until about 4pm today, the whole time we were walking around downtown he was a peach. Once we got home, all hell broke loose.

On another note, my parents will be here tomorrow. YAY! Hopefully they will have some ideas if Monkey is still acting up. I seriously think it's a combination of him having a growth spurt (and therefore possibly growing pains), maybe a touch of reflux, gas, and just generally wanting to be held. Still, older and wiser parents (aka my mom and dad and Ben's mom) may have some suggestions that I have not already thought of. I sure hope so...I love Monkey dearly, but mommy can only take so much screaming before she becomes the crazy lady with a crying baby who never gets into real clothes!

So little time & motivation!

It's official. We will be inducing Friday as long as the amnio comes back showing that the baby's lungs are mature. As in, 6 days from now. And even though logistically I know we are ready, I can't shake the feeling that we're not ready. I feel like I should be doing more, preparing more, and have everything perfect. But that's not realistic...perfect is not possible. In fact, I don't think it's possible to be 100% ready for something that will change your life so completely. My answer to my dilemma? Sitting on the couch watching HGTV and messing around on the computer.

I know that no matter how hard I try, my idea of clean/tidy will never be Ben's idea of clean/tidy. I know that no matter how many times I rearrange or stare at the nursery, it will never feel complete because the crib and dresser are STILL not here, and without those I can't put things on the walls (I'm a stickler about centering/measuring how high things are based on furniture, so I have to wait). I know that the blanket I'm making won't be ready...and it wouldn't be ready before his birth no matter what, because it's a birth announcement in the middle. Which means I need his date of birth and weight/length before I can finish it.

I know I will never win the battle against dog hair. I have 2 shedding dogs. As in, no matter how many times you sweep/mop/vacuum/dust etc there will ALWAYS be some dog hair around. You pet these two and it looks like a cloud rises from their backs. I love my girls, but seriously? I could really live without the shedding.

So, I'm sitting here. Thinking that (hopefully) by this time next week my son will be here. Well, maybe not HERE (he may have to spend time in the NICU, which will inspire a whole slew of new posts, I'm sure) but at least out of my body and existing as his own person. Not that he isn't already, he has an attitude! And a sense of humor...as was proven by the jostling and pain he caused me at the function we had to be at last night. He was calm all day long, but just when I have to be pleasant, sociable, and pay attention to ceremony at this function I'm in an internal battle of wills with him...him wanting to "play" and me wanting him to stop headbutting whatever it is that he's headbutting that is causing me such sharp pains.

The couch is good for now. Maybe I'll try to do laundry, or vacuum, or ...something. But later. Because there is no such thing as perfect. And there is no such thing as completely ready. And I have to learn how to let go...and deal with the fact that all the planning/preparation in the world will not make me feel any more prepared than I do right now.

Two Weeks Left

Well, the appointment with my NP yesterday went better than I expected. Aside from the waiting. For the most part it was pretty routine...weight, blood pressure, monitoring (AKA Non-Stress Tests), Ultrasound to accompany the NST. I also had blood drawn for a CBC (Complete Blood Count) and RPR (to check for syphilis...yay), as well as an office visit with my NP to go over questions, have my Group B Strep test (not the most pleasant swab in the world), and check my cervix.

Everything up until waiting for the NP was pretty standard wait times. Then we got put in the exam room and waited for an HOUR for her to come in...that's not normal. Usually I'm waiting 20 minutes, tops. Ben and I spent our time determining if we had been forgotten, debating on whether ultrasound gel or hand sanitizing foam would squirt farther from it's bottle, then determining which would cling to the wall longer (AKA which is sticker...ultrasound gel won that debate), how we would escape if we were locked in, and trying to take naps to make the time pass faster, since we all know that the second you fall asleep the person you're waiting on will show up.

She did come in, and told us that because it was me (and my appointments usually don't take very long) she bumped me ahead of another patient who usually takes longer. Good for me. Did all the testing, and then we came to the discussion about Monkey's weight and what that means. After talking to my RE last week, I thought for sure they would want to deliver next week, at 36 weeks. The good news is that they're giving me a whole extra week to grow him myself! The bad news is that I still have to have an amnio. Yep, that's right folks...I avoided doing the amnio in the second trimester because a) I hate needles, and if I can avoid one I will and b) they can cause you to go into labor. At this point, though, the amnio will determine if I can induce or if we need to hold off to give his lungs more time to develop. So, that's scheduled for the 26th, which is 1.5 weeks away, and if all is OK on that, then we're inducing on Jan 28th, 2011, and Monkey will *probably* be born on Jan 29th, 2011, at 37w3d gestation.

Looks like we'll be meeting our little man sooner than February, but still within the accepted time frame that is considered "full term," so he won't technically be considered premature. Plus, we've set it up so that the Dr. I like will be the one delivering the baby, which is AWESOME!!! Now if the baby furniture would just get here so we can get it set up before his arrival, that would be perfect.

Back on the Project Train.

Well, I feel great to be back on my creative roll! Baby quilt is well under way, but it's a slow process and I felt the need to just pump something out. So, when one of the lovely ladies on a website I'm on posted a link to a tutorial on how to make your own car seat cover of course I had to try it out! I was planning on simply throwing a blanket over the seat to keep him covered when necessary, but this way he doesn't get hit in the face with a blanked and the handle is kept out, so it's a win-win!

I also have to give myself props on the color selection. Somehow I managed to match the red in the car seat almost exactly, which I love. Just a couple of things about this tutorial:


1) To give yourself an easier time with the seams, etc. I suggest using 1/2 inch seam allowances rather than the 1/4 inch suggested.

2) Remember that most of the measurements in the tutorial are for the FINISHED project, so in order to have seam allowances as stated you have to add that length to each cut piece of fabric.

3) On the straps: I just made them about 8" long AFTER they were sewn and both ends closed. This meant that in order to place them correctly on the car seat cover, you just fold each in half, mark the halfway point with a crease or fabric pencil, and then sew it in 2 places: 1/2" to either side of the middle crease.

4) Also, when placing the straps, I think that were I to make this one again I would place them closer to the center. They are placed 11 1/2" from the outer edges (sides, not top & bottom) of the cover. I personally would put them closer to 13" in. They slip just slightly down the sides of the car seat handle when sewn 11 1/2" in, and I think just a little closer to center would be better.



5) The directions for placing the straps are a little vague: I marked the distance in and down on the main body of the car seat cover, then placed the straps by finding the exact middle of the strap and matching that point to my mark, then sewing on my pre-drawn lines.

6) If you are piecing the main body of the cover (like I did and as shown in the tutorial) I made the bottom accent (the red) a total of 4" tall. I personally like that amount, but I wanted to give anyone making this an idea of how big that panel is. So, the red on the bottom is 4" and the patterned piece is 38" for a total of 42" in height.

7) The curved corners are a matter of eyeballing it. I think I made mine so that at the deepest point (aka, the point of the square corner to the center of the curve) about 3", and it worked well. I might consider doing about 4" next time to avoid the corners dragging on the ground, but it's pretty even.


I had to include a picture of the cover flipped up, if only because I'm so proud of that color match (OK, almost match, but still). I also love the monkey strap pads that my mom got us. Granted, our car seat came with cushions on the straps already, but these were too darn cute not to use!!!!

I have my house back!

Don't get me wrong. I love the holiday season. I love getting the tree and setting it up, along with the household decorations. I even LOVE doing extravagant lights on the outside of the house (even though we have YET to do them to our house...I told  Ben that come hell or high water we're going to start going all out next year. We're talking mechanical penguins, deer, the whole shebang).

I also love it when it all comes down and I get my "normal" house back. After a while I start feeling like all of the holiday joviality is liable to swarm in and suffocate me. It's amazing how much more spacious my living room feels just by getting rid of a medium-sized piece of dead vegetation. Not to mention the needles that go with it!

So, now the house is pretty much back to normal. With the exception of aforementioned dead tree sitting out by the side of the house, waiting to be picked up/delivered to it's final resting place.

On another note...I finally ordered the bulk of majorly needed baby items. I say the bulk of it because I'm being cheap and waiting for my discounts to be effective for the last couple of places I'm ordering from. Especially because I ended up ordering the pack & play, even though I wasn't planning on doing so until we actually needed it. The reason I had to order it? Well...apparently the furniture we ordered for the nursery was out of stock, which they failed to mention when we ordered it. It isn't due to even SHIP until the end of March. Pardon?!?!?! My baby is due in mid-February, and will probably end up coming before then. I kind of need somewhere for my child to sleep!!! SO...hello pack & play!!! I guess I don't get that perfectly ready nursery that I had envisioned. Oh well...adaptation is a wonderful thing. Disappointment, not so much.

I'll admit it, I also changed my due date on the sites where I "registered" (I registered for the exact same things at 3 places so that I could get the completion discounts, and then buy from wherever ended up being cheapest. I only told people about one of them, however, so as to avoid getting multiples of things). I changed my due date to a full month and a half earlier than it actually is, because they don't give you the discount until after your due date. Hello? Common sense? Can you kick in for these registry places? I need the discount earlier than that, because I need to have the stuff before the baby arrives so I can be fully prepared. DUH!!!

And we're into single digits!

That's right...8 weeks and 6 days until Monkey's due! Of course, I may not make it that far, but it's really starting to sink in. That and the fact that we barely have anything for this kiddo. I already told the moms (my mom and  Ben's mom) that after January 1 we will be purchasing things that are left on the registry. That way there is time for shipping delays etc. There was some objection to that, because "people need time to get you gifts." I, for one, think that's great if they want to, but it is our responsibility to provide for this baby, and I can't wait because people might want to buy something for him...especially when it probably won't even be something we really need! That and the fact that a LOT of times people say they want to do something, but never do. No...better safe than sorry for us. We will be doing some major purchasing after the new year.

As for Monkey, he's still looking good. Moving great. As of yesterday, he's still in the 5th percentile for growth (3lbs 1oz at 31 weeks) but since it's a steady weight gain and he's not slowing down, everyone is confident that he'll probably just be a small baby and that there is, in all likelihood, nothing wrong. Of course there are no guarantees, but it's nice to know that there are no other indicators of an actual problem. I did have about 3 contractions during monitoring yesterday, but my nurse practitioner said that with my uterus and where I am in the pregnancy, that's to be expected. I actually didn't even feel the contractions enough to label them as such...it really just felt like Monkey was pushing against my stomach...but they were Braxton Hicks contractions. Nice to know.

I talked to the nurse about my fainting (ish) episodes as well, since I had another one on my way to the Dr's yesterday. I was sent for blood tests to check iron, blood volume, and a couple of other things that I didn't recognize on the lab sheet. Then I was sent home with instructions to take it easy and drink even MORE fluids. Hopefully I will have the results of those tests tomorrow. In the meantime,  Ben and I have decided that I should not drive further than our town (very small town) for safety reasons. If I have to go anywhere further, he will take me since he starts holiday leave tomorrow.

Joy. No exercise, protein shakes, no driving. I really do feel like I'm becoming an invalid.

Cervix and Heartbeats and Gas, Oh My!!!

I had my second perinatologist appointment today. It's a busy office, so I consider myself lucky that that I was only there for 2 hours. I had my cervical evaluation first. This was what was going to determine if I am allowed to exercise again or not. The verdict: All's good, go for a walk! YAY! I've been really feeling this whole no exercise thing, so starting tomorrow I'm back on the bandwagon (well, walking at least LOL). I also discovered that based on the last ultrasound I had they moved my due date from Feb 20, 2011 to Feb16, 2011. That means I'm a full 4 days farther along than I thought, so today I'm 16 weeks instead of 15 weeks 3 days! Almost done with month 4!

We also looked at Monkey and the heartbeat (although it's not like I haven't been listening to it every day with my own doppler anyway!). Official heart rate: 154bpm...all's good. Of course Monkey was standing on it's head...the first view we got was of the back of a skull and the spine! We eventually got some pictures, but none of them are super clear. In the picture you can clearly see the spine and back/side of Monkey's head.

Of course, they gave me pictures, but they're all pretty bad quality. Because this is mostly back view, you can only see a little section of one arm. The legs are all bunched up in front of Monkey, so this picture looks like it has no legs, but I assure you, they are there!

Then on to blood work. You would think that once I answer all the standard questions once, I wouldn't have to answer them again. After all, if they would just look it's all in my chart. But no...we went through it all again. To the point where she verified that I was Caucasian. She's new. My blood pressure was at 120/70...good. Weight...well, I'm at 10lbs, but now that I can exercise hopefully I'll slow the train down a little. If not, maybe I can at least stay somewhat toned!

I wasn't super impressed with the Dr. I saw today. She seemed rushed and not very invested. She did answer my questions, but as I asked she kept edging toward the door...I mean, I get that there are a lot of patients to see, but really? She didn't even let me get through all the questions! No biggie...my next appointment is in 3 weeks, and when I see my Nurse Practitioner (who is awesome) I'll ask her.

Now, apparently one thing my body has decided to hate is dairy. Grrr. I love ice cream and cheese, and cook with cheese a lot (I know, not the best thing, but it's so yummy!). I had ice cream last night...10 minutes after I finished I had gas pains that almost had me in tears. Tonight...chicken chili with cheese. Same deal. I think tomorrow I'm going to drink a glass of milk (ick, but I have to test the theory) and see what happens.

Next appointment I *could* know what Monkey is, but I'm having the results put in a sealed envelope so that B and I can open them together when he gets home. It's going to be a long stretch between now and then...willpower needs to be there, or else I'll fail!