The waiting continues...

I went in for my amnio yesterday. While it wasn't HORRIBLE, it also wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world. At least Ben made it for the big stick! He drove 1 hour and 10 minutes, was with me for a grand total of maybe 15 minutes, and then drove back to work. He also agreed with me that the Dr. that did it was...less than pleasant. She's the Dr. at that office that I really don't care for. I LOVE the other Dr.

I found it interesting that the site where she inserted the needle was sore the rest of the day...how can such a thin needle cause that much discomfort? Ben was also surprised at just how much fluid they take out. We had to explain to him that there is a lot of fluid in there, and that it would replenish itself within 12 hours.

I got the results of the amnio yesterday afternoon (I felt like I was at the Dr.'s long enough they probably could have run the test and given me the results before I left, but no dice). Monkey's lungs came back as "borderline mature," so now my induction has been moved from Jan 28th (aka tomorrow) to Jan 31st (aka this coming Monday). Dang. I had gotten my mind set with tomorrow as the day to start the process...how on earth am I going to fill 3 more days? I'm going to rot with all this waiting.

So little time & motivation!

It's official. We will be inducing Friday as long as the amnio comes back showing that the baby's lungs are mature. As in, 6 days from now. And even though logistically I know we are ready, I can't shake the feeling that we're not ready. I feel like I should be doing more, preparing more, and have everything perfect. But that's not realistic...perfect is not possible. In fact, I don't think it's possible to be 100% ready for something that will change your life so completely. My answer to my dilemma? Sitting on the couch watching HGTV and messing around on the computer.

I know that no matter how hard I try, my idea of clean/tidy will never be Ben's idea of clean/tidy. I know that no matter how many times I rearrange or stare at the nursery, it will never feel complete because the crib and dresser are STILL not here, and without those I can't put things on the walls (I'm a stickler about centering/measuring how high things are based on furniture, so I have to wait). I know that the blanket I'm making won't be ready...and it wouldn't be ready before his birth no matter what, because it's a birth announcement in the middle. Which means I need his date of birth and weight/length before I can finish it.

I know I will never win the battle against dog hair. I have 2 shedding dogs. As in, no matter how many times you sweep/mop/vacuum/dust etc there will ALWAYS be some dog hair around. You pet these two and it looks like a cloud rises from their backs. I love my girls, but seriously? I could really live without the shedding.

So, I'm sitting here. Thinking that (hopefully) by this time next week my son will be here. Well, maybe not HERE (he may have to spend time in the NICU, which will inspire a whole slew of new posts, I'm sure) but at least out of my body and existing as his own person. Not that he isn't already, he has an attitude! And a sense of humor...as was proven by the jostling and pain he caused me at the function we had to be at last night. He was calm all day long, but just when I have to be pleasant, sociable, and pay attention to ceremony at this function I'm in an internal battle of wills with him...him wanting to "play" and me wanting him to stop headbutting whatever it is that he's headbutting that is causing me such sharp pains.

The couch is good for now. Maybe I'll try to do laundry, or vacuum, or ...something. But later. Because there is no such thing as perfect. And there is no such thing as completely ready. And I have to learn how to let go...and deal with the fact that all the planning/preparation in the world will not make me feel any more prepared than I do right now.