And we're into single digits!

That's right...8 weeks and 6 days until Monkey's due! Of course, I may not make it that far, but it's really starting to sink in. That and the fact that we barely have anything for this kiddo. I already told the moms (my mom and  Ben's mom) that after January 1 we will be purchasing things that are left on the registry. That way there is time for shipping delays etc. There was some objection to that, because "people need time to get you gifts." I, for one, think that's great if they want to, but it is our responsibility to provide for this baby, and I can't wait because people might want to buy something for him...especially when it probably won't even be something we really need! That and the fact that a LOT of times people say they want to do something, but never do. No...better safe than sorry for us. We will be doing some major purchasing after the new year.

As for Monkey, he's still looking good. Moving great. As of yesterday, he's still in the 5th percentile for growth (3lbs 1oz at 31 weeks) but since it's a steady weight gain and he's not slowing down, everyone is confident that he'll probably just be a small baby and that there is, in all likelihood, nothing wrong. Of course there are no guarantees, but it's nice to know that there are no other indicators of an actual problem. I did have about 3 contractions during monitoring yesterday, but my nurse practitioner said that with my uterus and where I am in the pregnancy, that's to be expected. I actually didn't even feel the contractions enough to label them as such...it really just felt like Monkey was pushing against my stomach...but they were Braxton Hicks contractions. Nice to know.

I talked to the nurse about my fainting (ish) episodes as well, since I had another one on my way to the Dr's yesterday. I was sent for blood tests to check iron, blood volume, and a couple of other things that I didn't recognize on the lab sheet. Then I was sent home with instructions to take it easy and drink even MORE fluids. Hopefully I will have the results of those tests tomorrow. In the meantime,  Ben and I have decided that I should not drive further than our town (very small town) for safety reasons. If I have to go anywhere further, he will take me since he starts holiday leave tomorrow.

Joy. No exercise, protein shakes, no driving. I really do feel like I'm becoming an invalid.

IUI here we come!

So, since I got my period yesterday, the fun is about to begin! My insurance doesn't pay for my injectibles, but they do pay for the HcG shot? What?? That just doesn't make sense to me. Anyway...

$134 for the 2 days worth of injectibles...check.

Appointment to learn how to administer injectibles...Check.

Appointment for the U/S to check on my follicles and make sure I'm ovulating on the left side...check

HcG shot ordered...check

Confident about being able to administer these meds myself without freaking out...well, 4 out of 5 ain't bad!

I hate shots. I hate needles. Whatever makes these people think I'll be able to do this on my own is a mystery to me. I still don't know the exact results of my renal U/S or my MRI yet...but it must not have shown anything we didn't already know, or else they wouldn't have started the IUI cycle...right? We'll see. The really fun part about all of this is that my parents will be here next week...the week of my injectible drugs and U/S...oh joy. I'm really hoping the side effects aren't too bad...I would hate for the first time my parents, husband and I get to spend together in 9 months (and the last time for a year) to be marred by me being moody due to meds (well, more moody than usual at least LOL).

At this point all I can do is sit back and think positive...if we don't get pregnant in this shot then we have to wait for another year until the hubby gets back from deployment. It figures that as soon as we figure out what's going on and take steps to overcome it he has to deploy. It just figures!

The Revelation

I may not be able to ever have a child of my own. Wow. Never thought I would say that. I have been pregnant twice, no children. It's so funny how you spend your entire young life trying NOT to get knocked up, and then, when what you want more than anything in the world is to be pregnant, it doesn't happen. I haven't really slept in 2 days.

On Monday I learned that I have the MTHFR gene mutation. As another blogger put it, does whoever came up with that abbreviation realized that it looks like Motherf***er, just shortened? It's appropriate to what it does to women trying to get pregnant, but still, a little odd. OK, that's treatable with supplements. No biggie. But I still had my HSG scheduled for Tuesday morning. Ever since my miscarriage in June of 2008 I had a feeling something was off. After all, I had never had a problem getting pregnant in the past...I got knocked up after one encounter during my freshman year of college, and when my husband and I decided to have a baby it only took us 3 cycles to get pregnant.

After a few months of TTC with no success, I knew there was something wrong. But my Dr's told me to wait until a year after my M/C. Well, we're a military family, and at a year after my M/C we were preparing to move for the second time in 6 months. Oh joy. The damn movers lost some of our stuff...well, my stuff. Ben doesn't really give a crap where mixing bowls or the change bowl for the laundry room went.

So, after much begging and fighting with our insurance (I love Tricare, the coverage is great, but getting referrals is more of a chore than is really necessary) I got to see my RE, who is wonderfule, and he agreed that an HSG was the way to go. I just knew the HSG would show the source of our problems. And boy, was I right!

It appears as though I have the uterine anomaly known as an unicornuate uterus. AKA hemi-uterus. AKA I ONLY HAVE HALF OF A FREAKING UTERUS. Not good for conception or carrying a baby to term. The worst part of it was that  Ben  was (and still is) in the field, so I went to/from the appointment in a cab, saw this, and have spent the last 2 days dealing with it alone. I haven't talked to  Ben  in 2 weeks, and he won't be home until sometime between the 25th and the 28th. Gotta love military trainings. He was able to call tonight and has just now learned about it. Where to go from here is a matter of debate. He says he'll do anything I want, including staying active duty as a career, to get us our children, since we can't really afford IVF any other way.

Our plan at the moment is to do 2 rounds (hopefully) of IUI before he deploys for a second tour in Iraq. If that doesn't take, everything gets put on hold until he gets back. Fun. Then we do the IVF vs. adoption debate. Adoption is a little more costly, but you're pretty much guaranteed a baby. IVF is a little less, but no real guarantee. Ugh. If I do get pg it pretty much means I can't work, which kills me, because there is a VERY HIGH likelyhood that I will have to go on bed rest for about 5 months or so, depending on how things progress. Not to mention a high chance of preterm delivery, and almost certainly a C-section.

We're going for it. Oh yeah, and did I mention that there is a possibility that along with this lovely birth defect, there is a chance that I only have one kidney? Fun stuff.  Ben 's more worried about my health than anything...what a great husband! I just want a child of my own. I was thinking big before, wanting 2 biological and 1 adopted child. Now I'll be more than ecstatic if I can even have one of my own. We'll see what the Dr. says on Friday.

Waiting kills me. Time for another attempt at sleep and some retail therapy tomorrow.