I don't like this. No project work since...January? Ugh. that's too long. Not to mention I'm slacking on the working out front. OK, kind of. I get on the treadmill almost every day, but it's not the same as getting in the gym for Zumba and really sweating it out. Is it horrible that I can't wait for Monkey to get his vaccines so that he can go in childcare at the gym while I work out. It feels selfish just saying it, but there it is. Maybe I'm turning into the Wicked Witch of the West, thinking about myself.
Then again, maybe I'm being more like Glinda, the good witch. Maybe knowing how to get what I need will make me a better mommy (oh hell, I know that's true, but still...sometimes that lovely mommy guilt kicks in and I feel like I should be doing everything for him and if I want something for myself that's wrong). Damn mommy guilt...daddy's don't get that. At least Ben doesn't seem to. He has NO problem coming home, saying hi, and getting on the computer to play games. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve to relax...he totally does. But it would be nice if, instead of waiting for me to ask him to take the baby, he would just come home, change, and take Monkey, no questions asked, no waiting for me to almost have a meltdown before saying "do you want me to take him?"
OK, now that that's done. I need to get my butt off this couch and do something. I was going to take Monkey for a nice long walk, but we're having thunderstorms all day, so that's out. Grrr...stupid mother nature!
Don't feel guilty.. You need to have some "me" time for you own sanity.. I think the happier you are, the happier you can make your baby... I totally think every mommy goes through the "mommy guilt" and I also think it goes away quicker than you know!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! The first 6 months of a baby are SUPER TOUGH!.. but it does get better.. MUCH BETTER!